I thought about it and a very sad revaluation came to me. I could not figure out 1 thing that I love enough, that I would want to do for 120 days in a row. I enjoy working out but I work out everyday any way. I like to knit but there are somedays when time and inspiration are just not there. I love my family but,come on, when the kids just want want want, and than my husband just wants wants wants, I just can't GIVE GIVE GIVE. These sound like excuses, the point of a challenge is to do something that is hard for you and succeed. So decided to do the hardest thing on my goal list for the next 120 days. I am going to smile everyday. WHAT! I am going to stand in front of the mirror for at least 5 min a day and smile and LIKE what I see not 1 negative thought or word will be there. I will not criticize my smile or curse the wrinkles that have developed over the years. I will enjoy what I see and appreciate who I have become. These things sound easy but I have never thought I was good looking person. The one thing my husband can't stand about me (he doesn't understand how I could think about myself). The reason I do is thanks to some very mean junior high classmates. Yes things that happened over 20 years ago still have an effect on this 34 year old women. But not just them my mom was not a very positive influence either. Now that I am a mom I realize that she thought the things she was saying was the right thing but "don't care what other people think" was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear that I was a beautiful girl and the positive things about me and ask what did bother me and how we could change them. I don't blame my mom, like every mom in the world, we try our best and hope our children learn from the mistakes we made and do better than we did.
SO...What do I hope to gain from this challenge? I want that 13 year old girl inside of me to tell those other girls to go to hell! I want those words that needed to hear to be said now. I want to see what my husband sees when he looks at me. I want my boys to know that EVERY girl is beautiful.
So here's my first smile.
- Keep crafting! Love, Me.